indianamericana

December 23, 1982

Dear Anil,

I wish I had time to handwrite this so that it would be more personal, but this year has been so rushed, that it is impossible. So I will go with modern technology and opt for a higher wpm.

I'm glad you are interested in the Indian cooking and in your heritage. For some reason, it seems to be in the nature of human beings to take pride in their background. There are times when that has turned me off - so to speak. You know the types I mean. "Oh, we are English so we are entitled to rule the world." "Or we are terrific - all those foreigners are stupid and dirty." I never see that sort of thing in you though and I am glad. Your interest in your background is a healthy one and a happy one and while I confess to being an awful mother - a careless mother - a mother who just did things off the cuff - but I am so pleased that you turned out to be compassionate. There were times when I wondered about you - you were terrible to your sisters. But you turned out OK.

So, it is with pleasure that I pass on to you our family recipes.

November 7, 2026

I’ve always loved my grandmother’s work (her writings, drawings, paintings, recipes, and the genuine sense of self that she brought to all of it…) but I’ve rarely shared it with others. I arrived 66 years late to her story, and while I treasure it, I don’t believe that it is mine to tell.

This book, for example, was one of her famously perfect and personal Christmas gifts – made for my favorite (and only) uncle, the sweet baby boy of the family, anil.

anil was the one who taught me to spell my first name in lower-case because we as humans are just nouns. There is absolutely nothing proper about us.

I shared the book for the first time this summer with my dear friend John. It only occurred to me to share it because he asked for exactly what it is: lentils and simple Indian home cooking and uncomplicated ingredients… the kind of thing that someone could make in, say, 1950s Indiana with just one dollar in their pocket.

John is a retired English professor and immediately told me that I had to publish it. He said that it was food that needed to be eaten and stories that need to be heard and, most of all, that now was the time.

So I asked anil for his permission, and then I googled how to publish a cookbook. What I found is that you have to have “an audience.” That’s all that this account is. Please follow, share, enjoy. Show your support… and hopefully, someday, I’ll be able to send you a copy in the mail along with an invitation to a very big family dinner party.

I love this book. I love my family. I love everything that they have loved and fought for and still stand for in the minds of everyone who really knew them. The idea that love can be controversial in this world is still crazy to me, so today, it is with pleasure that I share my family’s story.